I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
