i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
