Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
