i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
