Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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