Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
