yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
