My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
