Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
