I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
