Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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