apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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