Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Im part way to drunk.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
