if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize