i was rollin on her like bob the builder
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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