I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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