pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i need an iv and a liver transplant
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
