Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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