I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
