Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
