I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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