there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
