Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
