But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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