Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
