she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
