maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
