I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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