I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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