I wish i was in the wii world.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
