at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
