Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize