i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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