Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
accomplished twins. life is a go
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
