Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
