i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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