I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
