Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
