8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
