I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
