I feel like I'm in dance class right now
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
