I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
