Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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