Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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