My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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