there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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