I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
