she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
