the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i think i just lost a toe
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
