yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
