i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
