i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This house was built for laser tag.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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