sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
