Where did you get a picture of my penis
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
