**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
