I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
