I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
