i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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