I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm at about main and main street
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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