Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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