And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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