I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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