best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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