so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
