Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
