My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
