Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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