ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
