Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
