Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
