dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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