Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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