I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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