I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
