Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
