i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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