he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
